We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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