The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
