So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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