I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
