just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
it hurts more in the daytime
tonight lets celebrate not being married
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
