OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
