My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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