did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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