I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
