Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
