Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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