belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Congratulations! We have a period
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