the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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