the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
