living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
