Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
