I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Randomize
