Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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