I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
this will be a night to untag.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
