no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
