i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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