Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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