You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
