My liver just broke up with me...
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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