ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize