Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
