Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
