im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Just invented taco cereal.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
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