Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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