Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
