I want to have your abortion
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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