Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize