I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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