Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
