Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
