I want to have your abortion
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
