my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
