bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I want a musical about memes.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
