Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
