and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
