i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
His nipple licking is glorious
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