my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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