she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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