She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
