Pappa wants mamma naked
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize