Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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