Kiss
Puke
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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