Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
