you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
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