Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
