So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
