She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
