im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
