Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
no. you can't hotbox the world.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
the liver wants what the liver wants
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize